23 Jul

What is RSD?

It is extreme emotional sensitivity to being criticised or rejected, whether real or perceived.

This can show up anytime, for anything!

It is a huge part of how ADHD affects me...

The kids not liking/feeling what I cooked, is like a stab to the heart, I feel it so intensely I get sad. Bringing in a sweet treat for the kids, but they don't like my choice, is another stab to the heart. Ironing a shirt for my husband in the morning, but he decides to wear something else...yup, a stab to the heart. 

These feelings of being stabbed in the heart each time are so intense, it can cause tears, frustration, anger.

Iv made a list of some RSD symptoms, although I'm sure there are many more:

- Easily embarrassed

- Unrealistically high expectations for self

- Becoming aggressive or confrontational in new situations/surroundings

- Needing approval or validation from others (constantly)

- Feeling helpless/hopeless

- Intense fear of failure

- Assuming you said/did something wrong

- Perfectionist tendencies

- Thoughts of self harm (likely to be burnt out and in complete overwhelm)

- Shyness

- People pleaser (to avoid criticism)

- Highly critical of self

- Anxious around new people 

- Avoids social settings

- Strong emotional reactions

There is no logical reasoning with RSD, it may even just be a perceived rejection, but it still feels intense. Not knowing what exactly might cause you to have such intense emotions, or when its likely to happen, means that its difficult to prepare for.

A great rule I've learned over the years, is practise to pause, in every situation, pause first, then react...although with ADHD bringing a whole lot of impulsivity into your life...pausing before impulse kicks off, is a skill that seems just out of reach. 

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